My Life On The Rocks

Those of you who know me well know I’m generally not a big fan of vodka. As it is, the vodka market is filled with “craft” vodkas that are just neutral grain spirit cut with water, repackaged and sold to consumers for $30+ (there are a few great exceptions to this, Dry Fly and Finger Lakes Distilling’s offerings being among the best real craft vodkas) and the flavored vodka category has reached the point of utter ridiculousness. Does the world really need bubblegum flavored vodka or whipped cream vodka? Perhaps it does, but I’m not likely to waste my time or efforts finding out.

And then there is Absolut A veritable classic in the world of vodka, Absolut has a clean, silky flavor profile that has made it a bar staple around the world. And their flavors are spot on and authentic. Want a citron flavored vodka? Why on earth would you reach for anything but Absolut Citron? Sure, there are other brands out there, but Absolut created the citron vodka category and its got a clean, authentic taste that few citron vodkas have. I find so many of them take on a certain chemical taste that is, well, less than appealing. Anyway, I digress but the point is that Absolut’s flavors are possibly the best within the vodka category. And then there are their limited edition, city inspired flavors. Today marks the launch of Absolut SF, an intriguing blend of grape, dragonfruit and papaya that seems sure to be a hit. Following on the heels of the highly regarded and much coveted Absolut Brooklyn (a ginger, red apple vodka that happens to be one of the only 3 bottles of vodka in my house), Absolut SF is also expressing its love for the city by the bay by donating $50,000 to Habitat for Humanity to support affordable, green housing in the SF metro area.

If you are a SF resident, Absolut is asking “Whats Your Absolut SF?”, or what makes your neighborhood in the city the best? The winning neighborhood will have a mural created in its honor and some other cool recognition opportunities. I think its a cool concept given the diverse neighborhoods of SF and I’m quite curious to see which neighborhood wins.

Fans looking for more info can check out the Absolut SF Facebook page at www.facebook.com/ABSOLUT for more information or pick up a bottle of Absolut SF and try some of these Absolut SF Signature cocktails at home.

ABSOLUT® SF COLLINS
2 Parts ABSOLUT SF
1 Part Simple Syrup
¾ Part Fresh Lemon Juice
Soda Water
Combine ABSOLUT SF, simple syrup and lemon juice into a mixing glass. Shake and strain into a Collins glass filled with ice. Top with soda. Garnish with a lemon slice.
 
ABSOLUT® SF FOGHORN
1 ½ Parts ABSOLUT SF
3 Parts Grapefruit Juice
Build over ice in a rocks glass. Garnish with a lime wedge.
 
ABSOLUT® SF WILD PARROT
1 ½ Parts ABSOLUT SF
½ part SOHO® Lychee Liqueur
1/2 Part Fresh Lime Juice
1/4 Part Simple Syrup
2 Parts Cranberry Juice
Soda Water
Combine ABSOLUT SF, SOHO Lychee Liqueur, simple syrup and cranberry juice over ice in a mixing glass. Shake and strain into a highball glass filled with ice.  Top with soda.  Garnish with mint and a slice of lime.

By the way, Absolut SF is available in bars, restaurants, nightclubs and liquor stores around the country now. Be sure to let me know what you think.

There are few things as satisfying as creating a perfect cocktail—but sitting on a beach in Portugal has to be one of them.  With this in mind, the Sandeman Mix It Up challenge is looking for cocktail enthusiasts to create an original cocktail that includes Sandeman Founders Reserve Porto, for a chance to win a trip to Portugal and a visit to the world-renowned Sandeman Cellars.
 
The submissions will be judged by Sandeman representatives and Dalio Calado—an acclaimed Portuguese mixologist and cocktail expert—based on taste, creativity and originality. While port has been an aperitif and high-end bar staple for years, it is experiencing a dramatic resurgence in the world of mixology, due to its rich color and perfect flavor profile, and we are excited to see what fans of the drink come up with.
 
To participate, simply visit the Mix It Up tab on Facebook.com/SandemanPorto, and click “Enter Here” to  submit a recipe and a photo of the original cocktail

I’ll admit, I’m a bit conflicted about Ron Jeremy. Sure, he’s a fat, hairy, not particularly attractive porn star who I think is most famous for being able to suck his own dick. I can’t believe I just wrote that, but then how often do I write about porn stars, especially male ones? Ron also owns or runs some sort of swingers club here in Portland, Club Sesso and I’ve run into him around town a few times.  I think its weird that he is famous for being a porn star. I’d be afraid of the No-See-Ums, but then I’m so horribly normal and boring (I think the word is “vanilla”). So Ron means rum in Spanish, and Ron Jeremy is now promoting his own rum. Sometimes reality is SO much weirder than fiction.

Anyway, the Liquor Fairy sent me a bottle of Ron De Jeremy rum not too long ago. My first thought was that this product would be about as good as that vodka that Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from Jersey Shore promotes and that perhaps Pauly Shore was too busy to sign on to promote a new rum. Sure, I could see people buying a bottle for bachelor parties and such, but honestly, can a rum promoted by a male porn star actually last in the market? I showed the bottle to some friends and some of the reactions I got (especially from women) were pretty negative. “Eww, who’d want to drink something and think about Ron Jeremy?” one of my friends said. The label has a drawing of Ron on the label, comes in a short, potbellied bottle (well, almost) and mentions that its got a “long smooth taste”. All joking aside, my intial reaction to the package was negative and I really thought that Ron De Jeremy was just a marketing gimmick to move some crappy rum. It turns out that I was completely wrong. Ron De Jeremy rum is actually a great rum.

So does Ron Jeremy drink rum? Is he a rum connossieur, splitting his time between gangbangs in Los Angeles, swingers club parties in Portland and sipping rum on the beaches of Panama? I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that this rum is a nice 7 year old from Panama that has a lovely russet amber color, a bouquet of bananas, brown sugar, molasses and a slight spice note of nutmeg and allspice. On the palate, nice spice notes marry well with fruit flavors, think bananas foster, and there is a very definite bourbon nuance imparted by the barrels which adds some vanilla and caramel tones. And yes, the finish on this rum is long and smooth. Big vanilla and caramel notes play across the tongue with undertones of clove, allspice, nutmeg and cinnamon appearing before gently disappearing from the palate. This rum is really damn good.

Would I call for Ron De Jeremy in a bar? Probably not, even though its delicious, I don’t think I’d want to ask for it by name. And that my friends, is the conundrum here. Would you stock Ron De Jeremy in your bar? How will its association with an porn star help or hurt its marketing? Its going to be an interesting product to watch. As for me, I’ll probably order Ron De Jeremy online and decant it into another container so that my friends don’t torture me when I use it in a Ti Punch. If I ran a nightclub, I might put Ron De Jeremy on the shelf, it might be worth it just for the buzz it would create, but in an upscale establishment, I don’t think I could risk it.

So in conclusion, if you can look past the porn star and focus on the rum, you’ll get a really well made rum at a great price point ($30). Whether its a good thing or a bad thing to be associated with the Hedgehog remains to be seen. Its definitely a controversial product, but at the end of the day, its a delicious rum. And that isn’t something most celebrity endorsed liquors can actually say.